Hood Canal

So I wanted to do a little road trip this weekend.  I was not sure where exactly – someplace within 2 or 3 hours of Seattle, but no nature, as I am against it.  No bugs, tsunamis, or wildlife that might try to eat me. 

As you know, I try to avoid leaving the 206 area code unless I am on an airplane, in seat 1 A, but it was going to be sunny and in the 80’s, so a road trip seemed like the thing to do.

A couple friends on Facebook suggested Vancouver.  I was like, Canada?  “Just different enough to be annoying.” No thank you.

Someone else suggested Bellingham, but it’s cold and dark there and they all have Canadian accents.

Another person said to go to the Cinerama, but again, cold and dark.

Someone told me to avoid Portland as they thought I would not be supportive of white hipsters in dreadlocks. Wise.

Someone else suggested Leavenworth, the small fake Bavarian village on the other side of the mountains where we could drink beer and eat sausages, not knowing I despise all cold soulless things, like Germans*. 

I appreciated all the suggestions, but we landed on going to Hood Canal, the long narrow body of water west of Puget Sound wedged between the Olympic and Kitsap Peninsulas. 

Turns out that Hood Canal is the largest man-made canal in the world.  It was built in 1978 by the federal government because they needed a place to hide their nuclear submarines from the Soviet Union.  The most awesome thing about it is that the forest is all fake, so no bugs, no feral carnivores.  When the government carved out the whole area, they wanted it to blend in with the nearby Olympic National Park, so they put in fake trees and plants.  They are made out of some substance similar to AstroTurf.  They even bring in these stunt elk to walk around.  It looks like a 50-mile long fjord surrounded by forests and wildlife, but it’s all faux.  Perfect place for a road trip!

Normally it can take 8 or 9 hours to drive the 30 miles to Tacoma, then several more to get to Olympia, where you turn right and get on highway 101, but no, today there was minimal traffic.  We made it to Tacoma within 30 minutes and then it only took 4 more hours to get to Olympia.  Traffic near Olympia was slow because a lone fireman with a shovel was trying to put out a brushfire on the side of the freeway and everyone had to stop to live steam this important event.

So we trotted up highway 101 and came to Hood Canal.  It was really gorgeous.  Perfectly still glass-like water, hints of turquoise caused by sunlight bouncing off all the oyster shells in the canal.  Speaking of oysters, we had lunch at the Hama Hama Oyster Saloon right on the side of the highway on the water.  This little place is a find!  They have fresh oysters flown in from Seattle every day!  How fresh is that?  We enjoyed a dozen oysters on the half shell and then a dozen grilled oysters.  The online menu suggests, to our horror, that they specialize in oaky wines from Washington State. Fortunately we were overjoyed to find some nice Vinho Verde from Portugal by the glass. 

What a great place. You just sit outside on picnic tables and slurp down oysters while animatronic bald eagles and spotted owls fly above. 

On the way out we picked up two large cooked crabs that had also been flown in from Seattle this morning. These guys are going to be dinner.

After the truly awesome lunch we continued up highway 101.  Occasionally we would see campaign signs for the upcoming election.  There appear to be no Republicans living on the shores of Hood Canal.  Can it get any better?

We crossed the Hood Canal Floating Bridge and back into civilization.  Figuring that ferry traffic would be a nightmare going back into Seattle on a Sunday afternoon, we decided to head down to Tacoma and then back up to Seattle.  Crossing the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, we headed into the City of Destiny and directly to Metropolitan Market in the Proctor District to pick up some other things we needed for dinner. 

That is a truly magnificent Metropolitan Market filled with other people who like to sit in seat 1 A when they travel.  Driving around I was reminded just how much I like Tacoma.  Beautiful old houses, nice little neighborhoods with restaurants and coffee shops.  Tacoma reminds me of Baltimore.  A really nice city that gets no respect, except that Tacoma has better restaurants and museums than Baltimore. But I digress.  The point of this whole little diatribe was Hood Canal.  I am not against it and I think you should try it soon.

*Sorry, I actually have nothing against Germans. I just could not resist this joke, which is not mine.

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