Winter grey

So it’s’ the middle of winter and I do not have a trip booked any place on first class for 45 days. Winter after New Year’s Day is just stupid. It’s cold and grey, and if your artichokes and calla lilies have made it this far they are sure to be nailed soon by some artic Canadian air just waiting to plunge down. I hate artic Canadian air.

It’s easy to get depressed in this period of greyness before daffodils and flights to Kaua’i. Listening to NPR on the way to work contributes to this sense of despair and dread as it has devolved into a free of charge nonstop Republican campaign coverage machine. I just can’t listen anymore.  Occasionally I tune into Democracy Now on Pacifica, but they can be a little strident sometimes, and then there’s the Diane Rehm Show. That thing just defies explanation.

What is a boy to do? Well this morning I put my car radio on scan and delved into the world of commercial FM radio. It’s not pretty. I cannot devote any time here to documenting the horror of drive time American radio. Just avoid it at all costs. But I did discover something quite wonderful this morning. Somewhere out there in the far flung exurbs of Seattle there is a little FM radio station that plays Mexican polka music. Put this on while you are driving to work and your whole world view will improve. Just go with it. Trust me.

Finally, just to brighten my day even more I saw this online and had to share it. No need for an explanation.








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A goat could save your life

Do you know that moment when you have been on a diet for a while and suddenly you fit into your old jeans and you can reach that other notch on your belt that has been unattainable for a while? No this is not a Progresso Soup commercial, but I did have that experience this morning. Very motivating.

So if you are one of the two readers of this blog you will know that in the last couple of years I have struggled with my weight, my blood pressure, my glucose levels, and my cholesterol levels. This is because I am a pig. In England they would say that I am "greedy". That sounds a bit better, but the reality of the situation is I don't do well with moderation. All the more sad then that I studied Aristotle in college. I didn’t just study Aristotle, I majored in Philosophy. See, I couldn't even do that in moderation.

Last month I learned that an old friend of mine died of a stroke two years ago when he was the age I am now. He actually died on my birthday in 2010. This really shook me up. As such I have been on a no alcohol / no wheat diet since January 2nd. January 1st was necessarily spent with a magnum of Cava and an all-day AbFab marathon as it should have been. This recent abstinence is on top of me giving up meat last year and me stopping eating anything that is white. 
Yes I really just typed that.  No alcohol, no wheat, no meat, nothing white.  

I was surprised how easy it was to give up meat. I never was that big of a fan of dead cow, but lamb? I love lamb. Giving up meat had nothing to do with my health though. I was in Maui last March at the Surfing Goat Dairy buying goat cheese and all these super cute little goats were running around and frolicking on their surfboards. There was just no way to look at these little goats and be OK about eating an animal. I am a total hypocrite though. I am still eating chickens and anything that swims. I probably will reach a point of ending my bird consumption, but I have no plans to quit eating seafood, ever, under any circumstances.  I realise that in some karmic way this increases the likelyhood of me getting devoured by a shark exponentially.

I should fess up that massive amounts of dead pigs were consumed by me in Barcelona. And I ate and drank nearly as many bad things in San Francisco. I don’t care. I reserve the right to consume anything I want while on vacation. Fortunately all I ever eat in Hawaii is fish anyway.

Why am I blabbering on about all this right now? Because I went in for a checkup this week. Blood was drawn, fingers were inserted, knees where thwacked. As the news is? I have lost 14 pounds since the first of the year and my blood pressure is better. But there is a huge change though from a year ago. My glucose levels are almost normal and my cholesterol levels are normal too. This just goes to show that if you quit eating cute little animals you will live longer.

I am so relieved. I really, really do not want to get diabetes. Or have a stroke. Or die. Unless a Republican is elected president in the fall, but then that pretty much assures that the Mayans were right and the world is going to end in 2012 anyway so it won’t matter.

Seriously, I feel like I have dodged a bullet again. I hope I can stay on this diet for a while and actually lose some real weight. What would it be like to go to Europe and not be immediately recognized as an American because I am enormous and wearing white tennis shoes? 

Goal for 2012: Try to stop looking like enormous American. And buy different colored tennis shoes.





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MEGASTORM 2012

So we are in the middle of a full blown media crisis. It is snowing. In Seattle. In winter.
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There is live coverage on The Weather Channel. That buff reporter they send to hurricanes is standing at the bottom Queen Anne Hill mispronouncing things. Apparently all 4 inches of snow  also warrants a front page mention on the BBC web site.
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This is so embarrassing.
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I am working from home as the entire city is shut down. Seriously. They closed my building. Busses are not running. All the hybrid taxi cabs are spinning out. Garbage collection is cancelled. They have let all the horrible children out of school. 
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I was at the store yesterday stocking up on supplies lest I am housebound for a week and all the bottles of kombucha and the gluten free crackers had been pillaged! It’s the end of the world.
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My hummingbirds seem OK. I’ve had to clear some snow off their feeders, but this does not seem like a HUMMINGBIRD EMERGENCY even though it’s only 28 degrees outside.
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.OK, back to work now.




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Stupid Snow

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I am sitting at my desk at home looking out the window. 
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The hummingbirds are zooming around outside. It’s cold but not a Hummingbird Emergency. My birds have two feeders and a Mahonia plant in full bloom to keep them fed.
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Three small snowflakes have fallen down in the last 30 minutes. I am not going to turn on the TV news as I know they will be in the middle of a media crisis with its own logo and musical theme. 
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Stupid snow. 

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I hate snow.
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Why do I hate snow so much? Let me count the ways:

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1. I live on the West Coast. This is not supposed to happen here. Every time it snows I just feel like we have failed somehow. You know that line of mountains that runs up and down the west coast? The one that is supposed to keep Republicans and religious people out? Snow is supposed to stay on the other side of the mountains just like Tea-Baggers, Baptists, and Nascar fans. Did three snowflakes fall in San Francisco this morning? In LA? No! See, we still have a long way to go before we become a real city. 
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2. Too many years of work-based snow trauma. I have lived here now for 29 years. In that time I have gone through a handful of really awful snow storms that shut things down for a week. I have had to walk to work, walk home from work, one time I EVEN HAD TO TAKE THE BUS, but the worst of all was a bad snow storm when I was running the Help Desk at the mermaid. I could not get anyone to come to work for days. Seattleites do not come to work when it snows. With about 10,000 stores all over the world no one really cared about our little snow storm. I think I went 3 days without sleep. I am still traumatized by this. Bleck!
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3. Driving. Look, I grew up in Eastern Washington -- on the other side of the mountains -- where it is supposed to snow. I can drive in the snow. People from here can’t drive in the snow. When it does actually get icy and bad out, 89% of drivers just freeze up and don’t move. But 11% of the drivers turn into icy missiles. If you do not have four wheel drive, do not have chains on, are talking on your cell phone not paying attention, please do not drive down a big hill. Actually, please do try to drive down the big hill but make sure I am not in your way first. 
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Ugh. Since I have started to type this more flakes have come down. We are up to a total of 11 fakes. None of them look like each other. 
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Oh, one more thing I hate about snow. Skiing. Actually Skiers. This is one of those odd subcultures I just do not understand and think should be illegal. Now trust me, if I were 25 years old and pretty I would be happy to go put on some tight plastic pants and go stand around in a bar in the mountain lodge and get drunk with other pretty people in tight plastic pants. But the thought of actually going outside into the cold, and then consciously sliding down a mountain on two tiny skis at 100 miles per hour is just fucking crazy. Something is wrong with people who do this. It occurs suddenly to me that skiing does have to take place in the mountains, probably on the other side of the summit in most cases, so technically it is on the Nascar side. Guess they can do what they want over there as long as they don’t force it on me. 
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We are up to 19 flakes now. Guess I’d better drive to the store and stock up on batteries, first aid kits, bottled water, and cans of tuna.
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Have I mentioned lately that I have two trips to Hawaii booked in the next few months?

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OK so now it's 5 hours later and several more flakes have fallen. Mark and I went to the store and to the gym.  There is a lot of snow in West Seattle.  Some buses were stuck going up the hill.  It's a full blown SNOW DRAMA MEDIA CRISIS! Most people were driving carefully and slow, but there were several ass-hole drivers from Montana going fast and being bullies.  There is always an ass-hole from Montana somewhere in the mix, isn't there. Anyway, here's a photo:
 


Yuck!

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It's Monday morning.  5:00 AM. I roll over and grab my iPad.  It's 28 degrees outside.  That is like -2.22 Celsius. How embarrassing!  This is a fully blown HUMMINGBIRD EMERGENCY!  I get up and replace the frozen hummingbird food before my birds have time to wake up.  By 6:00 AM the birds are up and get a fresh warmish breakfast.  

I search the internet for heated hummingbird feeders.  There are none.  Note to self -- get rich by inventing heated hummingbird feeders. 

OK, that is all on this stupid snow.  So depressing.





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