Mercy!

I got the kittens, Fred & Hyka, nearly two years ago when Bill died. Cathead was sad, I was sad, we all needed a distraction. The kittens were a distraction. They are still a distraction.

They were little rescue cats. Supposedly the dad was a big old orange alley cat and the mom was some beautiful Maine Coon that had been a model before she got knocked up. Some old guy on Capitol Hill had them and their 6 siblings. He was feeding them hamburger. I adopted them because Fred kind of looked like Bill, and Hyka looked like a Hyka and I always wanted a Hyka.

They fit in the palm of my hand when I got them, these kittens.


Baby demons:

Today Hyka is 3 feet long and weighs 37 pounds. Fred is 4 feet long and weighs 95 pounds.



Recently I was at the vet with Cathead waiting for his now monthly $400 de-pooping. As I waited for the doctor I was studying this poster that showed all the different breeds of cats on it. I was looking at the Maine Coons and thinking of my kittens. But right next to the Maine Coon picture was another similar looking cat. The Siberian Forest Demon. Siberian Forest Demons are larger than Maine Coons and have better teeth. Looking closely at the picture it was clear that my kitten’s mother was no former model. No, she was a demon.

As I type this Fred is eating the black leather brief case that I bought in Tuscany last year.

Anyway, besides the size and tooth differences, the only other difference between a Maine Coon and a Siberian Forest Demon is that Maine Coons come from Maine and Siberian Forest Demons come from Siberia. Siberian Forest Demons also have slightly longer tail hair. Right now the kittens are shedding their winter coats and all the long tail hair seems to be lodging in my nose. My eyes are swelling up and trying to explode. I have to take Benadryl at night so that I can sleep. I keep waking up with these bad Benadryl hangovers. I am pretty much non-functional for the first couple hours every morning.

This morning I somehow was able to get a cup of old coffee into the microwave, but when I went to the fridge to grab some milk, I managed in my unconscious way to bump the milk carton into the door. Much of the milk went straight up through the top of the carton and all over me. The cold milk scared me and then I screamed, jumped, and crashed into the fridge door. I really hurt my shoulder.

You might think that the kittens would come over and lick up the spilled milk. No. They hate milk. Cathead came over and licked up some of it, but then he threw up.

Normally after I crash into the fridge door I trip and knock a wine bottle off the counter or something and set off the burglar alarm, but not today. That is good; I didn’t need any more drama. These Benadryl hangovers are enough drama. I’m begging for mercy. I’m begging you for mercy! You’ve got me begging you for Mercy!

Hey that sounds familiar!

Which is really my way of saying, Go buy this now:


Oh wait, you can’t yet. It’s not out in the US.

Well, go to Amazon.co.uk and buy it there.

I'm begging you for Mercy!

Actually it’s faster if you just go to iTunes and download the two singles that you can buy in the US, Mercy and Rockferry. Then go to the Settings in your iPod, select Repeat, and then put on Mercy and listen to this over and over all day long.

You can listen to Rockferry all day long tomorrow.

Once you buy the actual full album you will put the song Stepping Stone on repeate and listen to it all day long. You will.

Yes, this entire post was just a ploy to let the world know that I am cool and I was into Duffy before she became the next big thing.

Fred just climbed up my leg. I am bleeding. I am begging for Mercy.