So far this year....

It starts off as a small news story that someone linked to on Twitter. Some kind of threat from Asia. You don’t pay that much attention.  

But then you hear in a short NPR story that it has arrived in Washington State, the first place the menace has shown up in the United States.  But you know, it’s up in one of those cold, dark places near the Canadian border.  The names all sound the same -- Marydale, Ferndale, Bellingdale, Burlingdale, Bumfuckdale -- those places you used to fly over in First Class en route to Vancouver while sipping champagne. 

At some level your sub-conscious says this is important and you need to pay attention, but you keep getting distracted by these emails where the sender knows your password and they claim to have webcam videos of you masturbating and will email them to everyone on in your contacts unless you send them 3 bitcoins.  Oh and by the way they think you have terrible taste in porn.  So rude.

It’s hard to concentrate on the news when you get emails like that.  Plus they don’t sell bitcoins at BECU. 

Oh and remember being able to drive to West Seattle?  You know, Metropolitan Market, your Pilates classes, your dry cleaners?  Jesus. 

Anyway, I hear that it can pierce the metal of your car and kill you while you are driving.  I hear it has a small shark tooth like appendage that cuts off heads. I hear it is now spreading into British Columbia even though the border is closed.  

Murder hornets?  Fuck murder hornets!

Oh 2020.  Please just go away. 



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