Old World Monster

Obviously I have not been blogging lately. The birthday is approaching and I am freaking out. It's getting in the way.

I keep waking up at 3:00 AM with morbid thoughts: “I bought that terrible dresser in the 1980’s. I am probably never going to buy another dresser. This is the last dresser of my life.” 

This goes on for a couple of hours and then I just get up and go to work where I sit in meetings run by people half my age. 

It seems like yesterday I was on the beach in Maui for my first time, weeping as the clock hit midnight and I turned 40. OK, there wasn't actually a clock on the beach, but how could ten years have passed so fast? 

It also really does not seem that long ago that I was sitting on the bank of the Mississippi River in New Orleans as the clock hit midnight, a roach crawled across my hand, and I turned 30. 

I guess I just need to calm down and remember that and turning 50 certainly is better than the alternative. 

Nah, I don’t care. I am still freaking out. And that is keeping me from writing. In an attempt to get some inspiration I got up this morning and got caught up on the podcasts of my mentor Sandra Tsing Loh. Guess what she was talking about? Being middle aged and death. Great. 

One über bright note here of course is that I will be in Italy when the clock hits this time. I’m spending the day touring the Vatican. Oh the irony! I laugh! 

Speaking of the Vatican, to note the new pope this week I posted on Facebook, “Old world monster, new world monster, still a monster.” Only one person liked it but I’m not giving up. I am going to bring a can of spray paint with me to Rome and stencil it on walls at night. 

OK, on that happy note I am off to Nordstrom. Shoes call to me. 



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