Sunrise on my 50th year

Am feeling compelled to write as if am Bridget Jones.

Not going to recount weight or alcohol units consumed, but can confirm no cigarettes consumed, ever.

On New Year’s Day awoke very early to look at the sunrise over Seattle. Facebook caption was, “Sunrise on my 50th year.” Have had Bridget Jones on brain since.

Am now sitting in Starbucks, drinking coffee whilst typing on laptop and pretending to be aging hipster doofus. Am between visits to eye doctor. Three visits today. 8AM, 12PM, and 4PM. Eye doctor testing pressure on eyeballs to validate possible aging condition. Possible serious condition!

Eye doctor has applied special mystery eye drops which do not dilate pupils but rather shrink them to the point of invisibility. Have been walking around pupil-less all day. Am enjoying this new look. Much like recent Bloody Zombie Eye Incident, being pupil-less means anonymous people will not sit nearby nor start up random annoying conversation. This is vg.

Am dubious about current look for aging hipster doofus status. Am wearing vintage aloha shirt recently purchased on Oahu. Cool because vintage or not cool because wearing aloha shirt on Friday?

Am currently also wearing aubergine colored eye glasses that are supposed evoke Cary Grant. They actually evoke Jabba The Hut trying to look like Cary Grant. Eye doctor confirmed have new $400 benefit to spend on eye glasses with advent of new year, so have ordered up another pair of Cary Grant evoking glasses just for driving. Yes, it’s true, have finally aged enough that should wear glasses to drive. These new ones will be black, however, not aubergine.

Am very much struggling with 50th year. Totally and completely understand that being 50 is much better that the alternative of DEATH, but that that takes all the fun out of whining. 

What to whine about? Should bullet point this out with the usual suspects:

• Job……well, no, no whining. Love job. Great boss. Great co-workers. Work for major world institution of goodness and am making more money that ever thought would or could. Nothing to whine about here.
• Flying Coach….well, no, no whining. Went to Hawai'i three times last year. No coach. Going to Los Angeles this month. No coach. Going to Italy in May for actual birthday. No coach. Probably going to Maui in the autumn. No coach.
• Being fat….yes, but this is directly related to alcohol units consumed and limited trips to gym. Am attempting to mitigate this with limited success thus far into the new year. Fully understand that failure to mitigate may in fact lead to DEATH. Motivating.

OK. Am struggling to whine. Will go back to doing work now to ensure continuation of Job and not Flying Coach.



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