Curmudgeon

It’s been a difficult week to be a curmudgeon.

Let’s start with the elections. I have been waiting to write about the elections because I can’t quite believe what happened. Everything went right. The good guys won. Evil was held at bay. Republicans got to suck it. 

I am not exactly what you would call a “glass is half full” kind of person. Whatever I am for is usually shot down. Oscar night is always a good example: The Kids Are Alright, Lilo and Stitch, the entire career of Judy Davis, I could go on and on.

But with the elections, everything was perfect - the President, the Governor, the gay marriage thing, legalizing pot, the new seawall, I could go on and on. I should note that have never smoked pot – I am just a godless socialist homo alcoholic - but I voted to legalize pot because I hoped the passage would make the heads of Christian Republicans explode. And I could hear them popping on Tuesday night.

To top this glorious week off on Friday afternoon my boss pulled me into her office and told me I was getting a gigantic raise. Apparently I was not getting paid enough. I can no longer say I took a pay cut to work for a nonprofit. I can no longer say I used to make more money when I got stock options. No matter how you cut it I am making more money than I ever have.

How am I supposed to be grumpy and negative on a week like this?

I found a way.

Yesterday Mark and I were driving around doing errands, in the sunshine no less, when “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles came on KCRW. Without even thinking I blurted out, “God I hate this fucking song! Here Comes the Sun. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Here some the sun. Fuck fuck fuck fuck!” I didn't even realize I was talking, let alone what I was saying. Mark burst out laughing and then I burst out laughing and I almost ran the car off the road.

Oh no. I just realized I am going to Hawai’i in 19 days. Yes of course I am flying First Class. It’s going to be hard to be grumpy about this.


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