Goth of pink or gay agenda?

So at work we had this little planning meeting to discuss what we’d do for Halloween. Employees are going to bring their horrible children in on Friday to get them hopped up on sugar. Apparently it’s too much effort to bring your kids to work on the actual holiday.

People suggested we decorate our area in orange and black crepe paper and wear classic monster costumes. My old group across the hallway is already all decked out in Halloween decorations to the point of absurdity. I pointed out that my old team is a bunch of satanic devil worshipers and that perhaps we should go in a different direction… something light and fun -- pink, bunnies, Easter! 

The idea is just so off base and weird that everyone loved it so we spent yesterday afternoon hanging pink crepe paper, putting up pink paper flowers, and strategically placing small rubber ducks and bunny head cut-outs all over. We even put up pink wallpaper all over the department. Why pink?

• Honestly the statement that my old group is a bunch of satanic devil worshipers and doing something the exact opposite of them was the appeal is the truth, but I could really say that at work too much.
• I had been trying to socialize the idea that we are embracing the Pink of Goth but no one gets this joke.
• Now I am just telling people this it is all part of my larger gay agenda.

Ultimately I think the real brilliance of this plan is the fact that Easter is way, way creepier than Halloween. It’s all about zombie worship. You know, that annoying fact that millions of people actually think that Jesus died and then came back from the dead. And they built a non-tax paying religion around this myth that has resulted in the deaths of thousands of people for 2000 years? How scary is that? Way scarier than a little plastic pumpkin or a skeleton!

Anyway, on Friday we’ll have an Easter egg hunt and hand out the candy to the kids. I wonder if anyone will actually figure out this is all really a conscious slap in the face to Christianity. We’ll see!

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So good news here. We all wore bunny ears and handed out candy to uncrying children. The pink bunny theme was well received all over the whole building. We actually got an award called The Pretty Poison Cup for "The most insidious decorations at Halloween time." Several people came up and told me that they understood the Pink of Goth and that it is named Becky. Other people said they heard this was part of my larger gay agenda and that they were very proud that we worked for a place that supports the gays and their agenda. Oh straight white people. Anyway, we’ll call this one a success.



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