What did you do this weekend?

Someone posted this on Facebook yesterday. 

I could not agree more.

I try to get to work between 6:30 and 7:00.  The intent is to pound coffee while I get lots of work done before meetings start.  Inevitably some other early rising fool is in the coffee room and asks, “What did you do this weekend?”   I want to say is something like, “Well on Saturday I spent the whole day masturbating in the bathtub then on Sunday I ironed the cats and ate transfats.”  I usually mumble something about cleaning the house and going to the gym so they will leave me alone.

This weekend I did actually do things.  Friday night we watched that Snow White movie with that black hole from those stupid Twilight vampire movies. What is her name…Kristen Stewart? Normally I just hate her.  I have never been able to figure out why she has a job, but she totally didn’t suck that much as Snow White.  She did a passable British accent and actually smiled a couple times.  Charlize Theron on the other hand, whom I normally love, was just absolutely awful.  

Saturday I only had one goal: make a playlist of Burt Bacharach songs, drinks martinis while listening to the playlist, and cook French food while listening to the playlist and drinking martinis. Is that three goals?  Regardless, mission accomplished.

While I was away drinking martinis yesterday a package arrived from England.  Nigella’s new cookbook, Nigellissima. I was somewhat cross eyed drunk when I got home last night so I decided to just sleep with the cookbook rather than try to read it.  Yes, I actually slept with a cookbook. This morning though I made coffee, told the cats to shut up, and dove in. 

Let’s start by just staring at this like I did for about an hour:

She is the most beautiful woman in the world.  Ever. 

Oh.

OK, OK, but she is dead.  Still.

Back to Nigella.

All right, enough, this is a cookbook. I always look forward to the introduction of every Nigella book.  She’s such a smart writer.  They’ve dumbed her down for American television, but the real Nigella still comes through in her writing. This one is about Italian food (how appropriate given my upcoming trip to Rome!).  She’s very clear up front that these are not real Italian recipes, just her interpretation of Italianish dishes. That works for me. Tonight I will be making Chicken with Tarragon Salsa Verde and Broccoli with Lemon and Parmesan.

I am sure I will fall asleep with her in my arms again this evening.

Tomorrow when I am asked what I did this weekend I will mumble something about cleaning the house, doing laundry, and going to the gym.  I won’t mention anything about sleeping with a cookbook. 

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