Zombies today

So I just checked and Donna Summer still appears to be dead.  This situation is still sucking so much. To help Mark bought me the 1999 DVD of her VH-1 concert so that I could sit in my living room and pretend that she is still alive.  I pretended last night.  I have to say the performance is quite impressive.  She looks amazing and her voice is perfect.

Someone told me the other day that the first time they went to Paris and ate a baguette they thought it must have been made up of crushed angels.  I think Donna Summer’s voice was made of the crushed souls of a thousand tiny, soulful angels.  And I do still think she was the most beautiful woman that ever lived.  Ever.

There are a number of references to Jesus in the concert, but I was able to move past that.

Speaking of zombies, my credit card appears to have been hacked by zombies. I got a new Hawaiian Airlines Visa Card in the mail a few weeks ago.  My old one was about to expire.  That was all fine, but then a couple days ago I got another new card with a letter saying my account may have been compromised.   I activated the new card yesterday morning, but somehow someone got in and charged something just before I shut off the other card.

For no apparent reason I checked my account online this morning and saw a foreign transaction fee of $2.85 and a charge of $85.90 to Zombio.com.  I’m like, gosh, did I charge $85.90 worth of foreign zombie yesterday?  I do not believe I did.  I called Bank of America.  Initially I was connected to some snappish person who did not want to hear my zombie story and was clearly not a Donna Summer fan, but then he transferred me to the fraud people who were all over it.  I have to say I would not want them to come after me.  Stern. Humorless. Intense. I was assured that my account will be credited for this zombie fraud, and that said zombies will face the full wrath of Bank of America, including a harshly worded letter.

I am sure this will all be fine, but I do have to question why international zombies would target moi. I do have a wee theory. If you read this blog on regular basis you know that there are things in the universe that I don’t like:

·         Golf

·         Republicans

·         Centipedes

·         Sand Worms

·         Zombies

Last week, at this very hour, I was attacked by a centipede at my desk at work.  Today, zombies have hacked my credit card.  Is there some sort of direct correlation between what I write about and what happens? Is it possible, perhaps, hypothetically, that if I write more about Donna Summer coming back to life or winning Lotto that these things will happen?  I don’t know, but I am completely confident that if I were to go golfing with my Republican brother in law tomorrow we would be attacked by a sand worm on the golf course.  I am sure of this. 

I am not going golfing with my brother in law tomorrow.

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