I am trying to figure out where I should fly to so that I can spread this. Where are they having the Republican National Convention this year? Tampa? Bleck! I hate Tampa. Expedia shows $513 with one stop, but there is no way in hell I would fly coach. $1197 for business class?
Nah, guess I will just take a sick day and sit here and cough.
Oh great, I see my ear hair is growing.
Why me god!?! Why me!?!
All I did was take my kitten to the vet for her annual shots and checkup. They gave her some vaccine to help prevent Feline Viral Rhinotracheitis. As you know, a vaccine typically contains an agent that resembles a disease-causing microorganism, and is often made from weakened or killed forms of the microbe, its toxins or one of its surface proteins. The agent stimulates the body's immune system to recognize the agent as foreign, destroy it, and "remember" it, so that the immune system can more easily recognize and destroy any of these microorganisms that it later encounters.
It appears that a few days after the vet visit, the Rhinotacheitis look-a-like mutated into Rhinopharyngitis. My kitten started sneezing. The virus was out and immediately locked onto my DNA. After an incubation period of two days I got a sore throat, then started sneezing, and now I have deep meaningful coughs and the desire to travel.
In other health news, there is the genital shrinkage. My parents were here recently. This first thing out of their mouths were, “You know that anti-balding medicine you have been on for 10 years? Do you know there is a class action lawsuit against it? It causes genital shrinking.” Well hi Mom and Dad. Great to see you too!
A bit of Googling confirms the genital shrinkage and the development of man boobs, so I have gone off the drugs. This will save me $100 a month. I have been socializing my impending baldness with people at work. I am curious to see how things will be different off the drugs. I remember the old days when I would lose my toothbrush or car keys and find then tangled in my back hair. That all stopped when I when on the drugs. My back hair just sucked in. The hair on my arms got short and kind of brundlefly like also.
Probably the most important part of all of this is the Clove in Clovehead. When I first went on the drugs I developed the red spots on my forehead. I assume those will go away now. I won’t really be me anymore. Should I change the name of this blog to Orange Bald Head?
So depressing. I do wish I could afford to fly to Tampa, but I am going back to bed.
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