Gone Green

I have gone green. Seattle recently banned plastic bags in grocery stores. I support this. I am not especially fond of wildlife, and I don’t give a rip about the environment, but I hate those flimsy plastic bags stores used to have. There are lots of reasons for this, but in the end, I NEED GARBAGE BAGS.


I have always avoided Safeway for many, many reasons: the poor who shop there and stand in my way, Lucerne Ice Milk, the poor who shop there and write checks, the creepy yin / yang sign, the poor who shop there and pay with cash, and Safeway's  insistence on using plastic bags. The nearby QFC store is nearly as annoying but has way better wine. It also has this super annoying retarded 50 year old man who works there as a bag boy. He has some kind of fetish for plastic bags and would always get pissed off and snappish when I insisted on paper. Well screw you tard boy because paper is gone! Ha!


You are supposed to bring your own bag now or they have to charge you for paper. Everyone who works at low end grocery stores is like, “Oh my god, you know that paper bag is going to cost you five cents right?!” I was prepared to pay 20, you cheap ass fuckwits. I just wish the government would ban paying with checks.


At least at my super expensive Metropolitan Market I don't have to engage in the 5 cent conversation.  They do offer a custom made bag now made of Jamaican Mahogany trees  that is lined with silk for 65 cents. 


I truly don’t care if you charge me for the paper bag, but what I don’t get is what are people supposed to use for garbage bags now? Are you supposed to go by plastic Glad Trash Bags to line your garbage can? Is that really better for the rain forest and baby ducks? I am sticking with my 5 cent paper bags. They biodegrade, frequently while I am taking the garbage outside. It just feels right to me. It’s my own way of being green.






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