New Job

You know how I used to say that the worst thing that could happen to you would be to get a paper cut on your eyeball? 


I was wrong. Applying for an internal job posting is worse. I applied for a job on April 1st. No, I am not kidding. It really was April Fool's Day. It is now June 8th.


For 69 days I have been told I am a strong candidate and that I interviewed well. But I am not alone, no. There have been two external candidates and me. One was apparently a superstar who was doing this same job somewhere else, but refused to even interview after he or she found out what we pay around here. The other vile candidate interviewed Wednesday.


I have had coffee with everyone involved in this 9 times to ask questions, make them like me, and learn about what they do.


I have interviewed people from other departments to learn how this group could support them better.


I have sent handwritten thank you cards. With my appalling handwriting that is really quite the gesture!


I have even bought lunch for people that I don’t like just so I could ask them questions about this group.


I have sent cutesy emails that demonstrate my hilarious writing skills. Here is a real life example: 


The other day I was in the coffee room and I did not realize that my shirt had become partly untucked. Hiring Manger saw me and said, “Wow dude, being undressed like that may be inappropriate in the work place. Do you think this is a career limiting move?" I yammered something incoherent, tried to retuck, but finally just ran into the bathroom for a full unbuckling and reinsertion in front of a mirror. The next day I sent this email:


From: Orange Clove Head
Sent: Friday, June 01, 2012 7:53 AM
To: Hiring Manager
Subject: Your Hawaiian word of the day: Mu'umu'u
Importance: Low


I am wearing a mu’umu’u today lest there be any more wardrobe malfunctions.


Hiring Manager replied back:


From: Hiring Manager
Sent: Friday, June 01, 2012 9:23 AM
To: Orange Clove Head
Subject: RE: Your Hawaiian word of the day: Mu'umu'u


I am the queen of wardrobe malfunctions so it was just another indicator of team fit for me! :)        I will hunt you down to spot the mu'umu'u….


First, I think this is really funny and I crack myself up. Second, I think the Hiring Manager’s response is job flirting. Doesn’t this feel like job flirting to you? Dangling a little flirty job carrot in my giant orange face?


I have been trying to continue to mantra, “One more week of vacation. 8% raise. One more week of vacation. 8% raise.” , but I am tired. I feel like I have been microwaved on low for 69 days.


I see the online job posting came down this morning. That means they are either going to hire the vile external or me.


My status still shows as being “Under Consideration”.


I don’t care anymore. Really. I am fine if I don’t get this. I just want to get out of the microwave and be done. Not done as in cooked through, I like myself rare. No, just done with this whole thing.


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Oh.  PS.  I got the job.  Another week of vacation.  And a 9% raise. 






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