Stupid Snow

.
I am sitting at my desk at home looking out the window. 
.

The hummingbirds are zooming around outside. It’s cold but not a Hummingbird Emergency. My birds have two feeders and a Mahonia plant in full bloom to keep them fed.
.

Three small snowflakes have fallen down in the last 30 minutes. I am not going to turn on the TV news as I know they will be in the middle of a media crisis with its own logo and musical theme. 
.

Stupid snow. 

.

I hate snow.
.

Why do I hate snow so much? Let me count the ways:

.

1. I live on the West Coast. This is not supposed to happen here. Every time it snows I just feel like we have failed somehow. You know that line of mountains that runs up and down the west coast? The one that is supposed to keep Republicans and religious people out? Snow is supposed to stay on the other side of the mountains just like Tea-Baggers, Baptists, and Nascar fans. Did three snowflakes fall in San Francisco this morning? In LA? No! See, we still have a long way to go before we become a real city. 
.

2. Too many years of work-based snow trauma. I have lived here now for 29 years. In that time I have gone through a handful of really awful snow storms that shut things down for a week. I have had to walk to work, walk home from work, one time I EVEN HAD TO TAKE THE BUS, but the worst of all was a bad snow storm when I was running the Help Desk at the mermaid. I could not get anyone to come to work for days. Seattleites do not come to work when it snows. With about 10,000 stores all over the world no one really cared about our little snow storm. I think I went 3 days without sleep. I am still traumatized by this. Bleck!
.

3. Driving. Look, I grew up in Eastern Washington -- on the other side of the mountains -- where it is supposed to snow. I can drive in the snow. People from here can’t drive in the snow. When it does actually get icy and bad out, 89% of drivers just freeze up and don’t move. But 11% of the drivers turn into icy missiles. If you do not have four wheel drive, do not have chains on, are talking on your cell phone not paying attention, please do not drive down a big hill. Actually, please do try to drive down the big hill but make sure I am not in your way first. 
.

Ugh. Since I have started to type this more flakes have come down. We are up to a total of 11 fakes. None of them look like each other. 
.

Oh, one more thing I hate about snow. Skiing. Actually Skiers. This is one of those odd subcultures I just do not understand and think should be illegal. Now trust me, if I were 25 years old and pretty I would be happy to go put on some tight plastic pants and go stand around in a bar in the mountain lodge and get drunk with other pretty people in tight plastic pants. But the thought of actually going outside into the cold, and then consciously sliding down a mountain on two tiny skis at 100 miles per hour is just fucking crazy. Something is wrong with people who do this. It occurs suddenly to me that skiing does have to take place in the mountains, probably on the other side of the summit in most cases, so technically it is on the Nascar side. Guess they can do what they want over there as long as they don’t force it on me. 
.

We are up to 19 flakes now. Guess I’d better drive to the store and stock up on batteries, first aid kits, bottled water, and cans of tuna.
.

Have I mentioned lately that I have two trips to Hawaii booked in the next few months?

------------------


OK so now it's 5 hours later and several more flakes have fallen. Mark and I went to the store and to the gym.  There is a lot of snow in West Seattle.  Some buses were stuck going up the hill.  It's a full blown SNOW DRAMA MEDIA CRISIS! Most people were driving carefully and slow, but there were several ass-hole drivers from Montana going fast and being bullies.  There is always an ass-hole from Montana somewhere in the mix, isn't there. Anyway, here's a photo:
 


Yuck!

------------------

It's Monday morning.  5:00 AM. I roll over and grab my iPad.  It's 28 degrees outside.  That is like -2.22 Celsius. How embarrassing!  This is a fully blown HUMMINGBIRD EMERGENCY!  I get up and replace the frozen hummingbird food before my birds have time to wake up.  By 6:00 AM the birds are up and get a fresh warmish breakfast.  

I search the internet for heated hummingbird feeders.  There are none.  Note to self -- get rich by inventing heated hummingbird feeders. 

OK, that is all on this stupid snow.  So depressing.





.