Home sick

Part 2

I am still sick. I spent most of the day sleeping.

I have a small question however. Hypothetically, if your fuckwit fascist Republican Christian cousin-in-law had been filling up your email box with hateful megabytes of propaganda for years, would it be a bad thing to allegedly take her email address and perhaps sign her up to receive email from MoveOn.org, The Democratic National Comittee, or let’s say, maybe, The Daily Kos? Just wondering. No particular reason. Just a question.

Tonight I felt better and went out to get my mail and look at my yard. There was a crow storm going on out there. Dozens of crows screaming and flapping around in the air. It occurred to me that they did not like my new owl, which is EXACTLY WHY I BOUGHT IT.

I got the owl down off his pole and started holding him up to the sky while I shook him and made hooting noises. This was not well received and the crows who got even more agitated. Two of them swooped down and crashed into my neighbor’s garage. Unfortunately they were not hurt. I shook the owl and hooted for a bit and then I saw a crow sitting on my neighbors back porch. It was not moving. It was a fake crow. Well no wonder the real crows were all upset. This was probably some kind of hot, sexy Barbie crow and it was ignoring them. I put the owl back on his pole and went to get my camera to take some pictures of my flowers.

I looked up at the fake crow. It looked as if it was staring at my owl in some kind of fake game of chicken. I took some more photos and looked up at the fake crow again. Then it yawned.

OH MY GOD. What an ass hole crow!

I feel like Tippi Hendren!

Not that that is a bad thing.

I am going to enjoy a big mug of TheraFlu and go to bed now.

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Part 1

I am home sick today. I coughed up my right lung. That hurt. I have an earache in my right ear also. I think I am going to stick a chopstick in there so that the pain stops. I also have an ingrown toenail on my right big toe. I hate the whole right side of me today.


I had to turn the heat back on the morning because it was FREEZING!!!


I hate the weather here.


I am watching TV from Barcelona on my computer and fantasizing about my upcoming trip. They are having like the coldest, wettest spring in 50 years too.

Catalan looks more like French to me than Spanish, but it sure does not sound like French. Català es veu com el francès per a mi, però no sona com el francès. It sounds like Spanish. Sona com l'espanyol. Is that terrible? Will they hate me for saying that?

There is this news story on about a Spanish centric competitor for Facebook called Tuenti. Like for people who are Twenty. Whatever.


The traffic report just came on, it's called Transit. I can't tell if black colored roads mean the whole freeway system is in gridlock or if there is just one little stretch of slow that is yellow.

I have been watching lots of Catalan TV and Barcelona travel shows since we bought tickets last week. I also spent about $100 on guidebooks. Last night we tried to cook Catalan food. Mar i Muntanya. Surf and turf? Earth and Ocean. Chicken of the Sea? It rocked. You brown chicken then cook it in a big pot for an hour with sweet vermouth, onions, tomatoes, garlic, parsley, saffron, and smoked Spanish paprika (pimentón as they say in Spain). At the last minute you put in shrimp and almonds. This totally did not suck.

We also made this variant of paella with toasted noodles instead of rice, Fideua. Super good too. AND we discovered my new favorite wine, Alella! It's a rocking good white table wine that costs $8.

Have I whined about STUPID Air France yet? OK, Mark and I have been flying STUPID Air France to Europe since 2007. The intent was to pay for Business Class on a few trips then start upgrading to Business Class, because, as both you and god know, I will not fly coach. The problem is they will not let us upgrade?!?! There are seats available in business class, I keep checking, but they just won't give them to us even thought we have about 140,000 miles to use. Yes, this is a HATE CRIME.

We found this rocking cool apartment to rent (more on that later) but it was going fast so we needed to book the flight. Last week business class tickets were about $4800 each. Even I am not that silly. We found this thing called Premium Voyageur which is in a separate cabin from the wretched refuse, has good seats that do not get in your face when someone relines back, and lets you check two bags. The chair does not turn into a bed and you have to eat the same food as the wretched refuse however. Alas, Premium Voyageur was our only option. $2000 a pop.

This has really had an impact on my self esteem. Sometimes I just forget where I am and I stare out into the distance while I think to myself "OH MY GOD, I am flying coach for like 10 hours?!?!?!" Mark will just come up and slap me and say, "You are not flying coach, you are flying Premium Voyageur! It does not help. I can't even make eye contact with myself in the mirror right now.

Just to show you how STUPID Air France is I just tried to buy the same tickets just now and here is what they cost today for 1 person:

Coach - $1262

Premium Voyageur - $4837

Business Class - $4836

First Class - $22,612

OK, so to point out the obvious here:

• Premium Voyageur now costs $2837 more than it did last week.
• Buisness Class costs $1 less than Premium Voyageur, but in Business you get real food and your chair turns into a bed. WTF?!?!
• First Class costs $22,617. They do not have First Class on these flights. Seriously. They are letting you sign up to pay $22k for a flight and they don't tell you that they don't offer it untill you click all the way through to the point of putting in your credit card.

STUPID Air France.

Oh here is the apartment, Ghost. Isn't this cool?!?!

OK, I am off to go stare into the distance again for a while.....

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