My Demonic Sunday

So it’s Sunday morning and I am going to pick up Mark, run to Chinatown to get some Asian noodles to eat, and then head to the gym.

I shower, and put on my gym clothes, including my “What would Buffy do?” t-shirt. I get in the car and pull out into the alley. Just as I am about to leave the alley and cross the street I see a blur of motion right in front of me. I slam on the brakes thinking there are some kids running around. Something is standing in the road blocking my way. I take off my sunglasses so I can see it better. The figure is short, with red tights on, a white t-shirt, and New Balance running shoes. It has its hands on its hips in a stance of defiance. It is staring right at me, its eyes glaring with this creepy red intensity.

Last week I was changing channels on TV and stumbled across this stupid “prequel” to The Exorcist. It was a terrible movie but I watched long enough to see the scary demon faces popping out of the dark and flashing on and off in the same subliminal way they did in the original film. This was not as effective as the original, but it was still pretty creepy.

As I stare down the figure in front of my car it starts to flash creepy demon face at me, just like in The Exorcist. You just don’t see this everyday in an alley on South Beacon Hill. At least not at 10:30 on a sunny Sunday morning.

I am creeped out, afraid, but mostly annoyed because I am really hungry and I want to go get noodles right now. I am not sure what to do here. As the demon continues to flash its scary face at me I start to get concerned, but there is no way I am going to chicken out and back up. I am at a loss for a few moments when suddenly I look down at my t-shirt. I ask the question. Then I know the answer. I put my sunglasses back on, roll down the window, stick my head out and yell, “Look Pazuzu, I am starving and I have places to go. Get the hell out off the road or I am totally going to drive over you and squish your demon ass hard.” Buffy always would say something kind of funny before she slew a demon.

My witty dialogue is not well received. The demon face stops flashing back and forth between human and demon. It just stays demon. The thing starts to growl. Damn it. I am really hungry and I just washed my car. I rev my car engine and start to take my foot off the break when I see a fast moving arm swoop in and grab the demon. It’s the demon’s father. He yanks the thing out of the road, yells at it, and mouths to me “I am sorry” as he rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders. I know everyone thinks their kids are normal and attractive, but really? You just took your demon out for a walk to the park on Sunday morning like this is normal? Whatever. They just tool off down the sidewalk towards the park as if nothing has happened.

I am shaken. Yes, partly due to low blood sugar because I have not eaten noodles yet, but I am just not used to supernatural encounters this early in the day. I drive over to get Mark and tell him what has just happened. He is somewhat dubious. We head back to my place so I can point out the demon. Demon and its father are nowhere to be seen. This does not help my case. Hunger wins so we head to Chinatown and have liquid pork with black mushrooms and skinny buckwheat noodles at Samurai Noodle. The gym is fine and then we go to the store to by swordfish to bbq for dinner and the first rosé of the year fresh off the boat from Marseille.

My sunny Sunday afternoon is wonderful. We are drinking pink wine and listening to Anne Litt on KCRW. This song comes on that I don’t know but I really like. You know that feeling where you need to buy a song immediately or you will die? I love iTunes. The song is It’s So Brand New by Fyfe Dangerfield. While it’s downloading to my phone I go to the Fyfe Dangerfield web site and guess what? The demon is there, amongst the photos:

Coincidence? I think not. Why would this creature jump in front of my car and then show up on the web site of some musician I have never heard of all on the same day? I have no answers here. Only questions. “What would Buffy do?”

PS – the whole album by Fyfe Dangerfield is amazing and rather transcendent. Go buy it. 





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