It appears the rumors of my impending death have been greatly exaggerated. Yesterday was follow up day with the doctor. He says I have lost 11 pounds. I say 15, but I did have hair gel in. And pants on. And underwear.
Blood pressure was way down too, but that is probably because last time I was in there I was freaked out because I had convinced myself that I had a basketball sized tumor growing on my right kidney and that I had penis cancer. Apparently my self diagnosis skills are not up to par as both by kidney and penis are just fine, thank you.
My good cholesterol is über good. Apparently I have olive oil flowing through my veins instead of blood. It’s that good olive oil from Provence that costs €80 a bottle, not some crappy California start up olive oil.
Triglycerides were all la la also.
My bad cholesterol is not good. Too high, but fixable with my new salmon and walnut diet.
Get this – my liver, yes my liver is just fine. I had told the doctor that I was drinking 3 bottles of wine a night. Yes, I lied, but I didn’t want to get yelled at if he knew how much I was really drinking. Anyway, we discussed why it might be the case that my liver has not rotted out and we both agreed that it was due to ongoing daily liver exercise. 20 years of drinking builds up a pretty tough liver. We decided that taking a bit of a break on the daily liver exercise was not a bad idea. I do have blessing to drink in Maui.
The one area that is really a problem is my blood sugar, my glucose levels. I find this odd as I have never been able understand why anyone would actually chose to eat chocolate when they could have a bag of Doritos instead. Apparently I am near the high end of pre-diabetes scale. A few more months of my old lifestyle and I would have crossed the line. My doctor and his tight tailored slacks feel that this is easily fixable if I just keep doing what I have been doing. The weight I have already lost is probably enough to reduce the risk by 30%. This is motivating to keep me doing what I have been doing.
Doctor and his slacks were also worried about my sleep, or lack thereof. I explained how I had recently discovered, in my annoyingly sober state, this whole new idea of laying down on a bed when it is dark out and waking up 8 hours later.
So, this is all good. Sounds like I took action just in the nick of time. Here’s the running tally:
•Alcohol units consumed in last 20 days: 0
•Salmons consumed in last 20 days: 8
•Walnuts consumed in last 20 days: 104
•Pounds of oatmeal consumed in last 20 days: 62
Drum roll please...
15 pounds lost. Yay for me! Off to the gym now.
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